Discernment in Challenges

I drafted this meditation in October 2024, in the early months of dealing with Long COVID. I had contracted COVID-19 for the second time at the end of July 2024, and instead of getting better after two weeks, I continued having difficulty breathing for many months. I also experienced exhaustion after slight exertion, a fast heart rate, and “brain fog”—not being able to think well. Over time, my symptoms gradually lessened with help from the pulmonologist. 

By mid-2025 I was well enough to take an intensive six-month online course in permaculture. Through these studies, my love of nature and desire to care for God’s creation fused with our efforts in regenerative agriculture. I created a permaculture design for the non-profit that owns the one-acre lot where we live in Limón, Honduras. As early as August, 2025, we began implementing the plan, installing a garden and later planting dozens of trees, most of which should bear fruit in a few years. By January 2026, my Long COVID symptoms seemed to have gone away, and I relished the ability to work hard and accomplish visible results. Sister Alegría and I were also delighted to welcome a sojourner-student for a month!

Unfortunately, in mid-April (probably triggered by several stressors at once) I began getting a tired chest again when I did moderate physical work. Even after rest, my heart rate sometimes stays higher than normal. I am now seeking more answers from a cardiologist. It costs a lot of money and time to travel to the city for appointments and tests. The hardest part is facing the fact that I have a chronic condition that may stay with me the rest of my life. What is God asking of me now, when I can’t physically do the work I thought God was calling me to do? I appreciate your prayers for healing and discernment as I go through this challenging time—and for all those dealing with chronic illness.