Dear RenetteLucelleC, I lift you up to Father God and Lord Jesus so they can give you divine wisdom, direction, and guidance (Psalm 32:8). For Father God's divine protection, Renette, you can meditate on Psalm 91:14-16, “God says, ‘Because you are devoted to me, I’ll rescue you. I’ll protect you because you know my name. Whenever you cry out to me, I’ll answer. I’ll be with you in troubling times. I’ll save you and glorify you. I’ll fill you full with old age. I’ll show you my salvation.’” Renette, you said that you have despair and regret about your current situation, and things backfired. I don't know whether you have been saved or born again. But if you haven't and you have faith in Lord Jesus and in his blood on the cross, death, burial, and resurrection on the third day by Father God, and you're willing to repent of your sins and surrender your life to Lord Jesus, ask Lord Jesus to become your Lord and Savior, confess that you're a sinner, and you need him to forgive you of your sins and save you. Once you're saved, you'll become a new creation in Christ. You won't dwell on your past sins or mistakes, you'll be a new creation in Christ. The Holy Spirit will indwell in you, and will gradually transform you. Renette, I gave a brief overview of being saved and born again. I encourage you to talk to a Christ-centered pastor about the precious gift of salvation from Lord Jesus Christ. There's more to it than what I briefly described. In the meantime, I encourage you to go to the gotquestions.org website and look up, "How can I be saved?" and "How can I know if I am saved?" I hope this information helps you. May all go well for you with your daily Christian walk. In Jesus's name, I pray.
RenetteLucelleC, I am praying for you and with you through Jesus
RenetteLucelleC, I am praying for you